A new leaf for me

Tonite, as I ascend back up into my cozy little habitat for a bit of respite from my canine foes, I stare down at the endless rows of nodescript man-houses and despair. Why do they settle for mediocrity? Why this insatiable need to be surrounded by those that are just like them, safely nestled away from anything that could do them harm? It has occurred to me that maybe they don't care, or maybe they have been dulled by the instant gradification culture of the day. Take the way they approach food. Are you hungry? Don't go kill something and feast on its still-warm flesh, or rummage in the open wilderness for fresh, wild berries, just go grab a cookie. Cookies require no work, they taste great, and they hit the spot. Besides, there are hundreds of different kinds of cookies, right? You can eat a different kind of cookie every day, and never even have to eat the same type of cookie again for months. Eventually you may even believe that you like a wide range of snacks, just like those people who say they like "all kinds of music, but when you ask for clarification, they say something like, "Led Zepplin, Metallica, Rush, the Beastie Boys, even Jewel. You know, everything, really." Perhaps, in many ways, the cookie represents at that is wrong with advanced civilization. People are so enamored with the luxuries afforded to them by their cherished technogolgy that they often forget the deeper joys of life.

You know, I think I am going to give up cookies, once and for all. From now on, it's all natural for me. I want true variety. You can keep your Oreos, your Chip's Ahoy!, and even your E.L. Fudge. You can even keep those overpriced girl scout cookies... save them for when you're watching someone else live out their dreams on "Survivor" or "American Idol." As for me, I am going to take the high road, and you know what? I think I'll be all the better for it.