Eggroll, Bagel, Cookie, Vengeance

The Four Ninja Food Groups

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

it's all relative, man

So there I stood, exhausted, frazzled, and in desparate need of some grooming. I hadn't eaten for hours, and my feet were killing me. To make matters worse, my mate was even in worse shape, barely able to breathe on acoount of the pain, and yet barely able to stay awake due to exhaustion. As the time passed, I could feel my desire to totally flip out and kill something, anything, growing ever stronger. Then, something most unexpected happened. A combination of amniotic fluid and other gelatenous goo shot forth from, well, were those things come from, and into the unsuspecting doctor's open mouth. She laughed and proceeded to explain the flavor. After a few more moments passed, she smiled and handed me the newborn, and asked if I needed any help determining the sex. Normally such a snide comment would have cost her her head, but for that one night, my lust for vengance rested.

36 Comments:

Blogger lisaloving said...

CONGRATULATIONS! BTW, what flavor WAS the baby?

7:44 PM  
Blogger devin tomaney said...

congrats

8:09 PM  
Blogger wasssa said...

Gar! A better question be is the baby a pirate, or a ninja? We be needin a new swabbie fer me pirate ship! Either way, congrats!

8:43 PM  
Blogger fmragtops said...

Congratulations

5:53 AM  
Blogger H said...

It takes extreme situations for the fiercest techniques to be unleashed. Versatility and adaptation of one's resources are the greatest achievement in one's martial arts lifestyle.

6:32 AM  
Blogger Rob Boshaw said...

:D

9:18 AM  
Blogger pappy said...

Congrats! been in health care for years stay out of my hospital:)

11:07 AM  
Blogger RhyssFen said...

congratulations!!! ^_^

2:25 PM  
Blogger koalaMan said...

The baby was female. We have not yet had sufficient evidence to determine whether she is a ninja or a pirate, but I remain hopeful. She certainly has a vengeful scream!

5:59 PM  
Blogger Milkshake said...

To describe a human in terms of merely Ninja or Pirate is so outmoded--Don't forget she could be a Robot, Daemon, Goddess, Imp, Nymph, Heiress or Joker. Also--congrats on the baby girl!

3:08 AM  
Blogger wasssa said...

This be true, me boyfriend be a robot. He tends to rust when exposed to the salty sea air. Argh!
But I still hope she's a pirate, the best pirates be girls. (I would know since I am one of the few girl pirates on the sea). ;)

~Deuce

6:39 AM  
Blogger iply said...

Woa. I think a pirate would be cool. Ninjas are pretty cool, too. What you guys need is a Robot-Ninja-Pirate-Fairy.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Eddie said...

Very true. See also stockdiscussion.blogspot.com

11:14 AM  
Blogger Bensinger333 said...

Wow. I've never heard a birth described in such... terms. As the Jews say, Mazel Tov to the whole Mishpacha.

Ben,
of bensinger.blogspot.com

12:36 PM  
Blogger RK said...

Probably a bit off-topic, but please urge your readers to look at this post; it's very important:

whowilldietoday.blogspot.com

1:44 PM  
Blogger Minerva & Patsy = BFFLz said...

randomness !!

anybody wanna comment us ?!

2:18 PM  
Blogger jenn marsala said...

Have never asked myself the all too important "Am I a ninja or a pirate?" question. This might explain alot of my problems. I do tend to blog about pirates, frequently, though. I hope this does not make us enemies, as I just discovered your blog and find you delightful...

j
playingchicken.blogspot.com

2:46 PM  
Blogger Thaozee said...

Methinks she is a ninja-pirate....Hiding in the shadows of the pirate ship, silently downing rum after rum....yaarrr daniel-san!

Congrats

8:51 PM  
Blogger ßa†mΛn said...

Congrats on your new slimy, oily, screaming bundle of joy. I am sure that you are very proud as you should be, but remember... ninja training starts at birth... give her throwing stars as chew toys and she may break the record and have her first succesful flip-out-kill by three months.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Mayhem said...

Enjoy the miracle of cretion.

4:57 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

HAppy Fathers day! Bonsai! Omedetou!

11:06 PM  
Blogger Tomas said...

just stumbled on yr blog.... the combo works well... congrats... teach yr children well

6:11 AM  
Blogger wala said...

let's just join us and forget it about it. otherwise, the world will folder around. you are kind for not letting her feel the consequences of your wrath. you are truly a hungry & judicious ninja.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Yuki said...

I am japanese.I'm foreign university student.is the picture is ninja? Or a baby?

8:44 AM  
Blogger jumping_off_bridges said...

ummm, i dont know you. but i was just look for a recipie for swedish cake rolls, and somehow im here. so, uh, congradulations. you are an interesting person hope all works out for you deary. make sure that on halloween you dress your child up as something embarassing like a pea or some other vegetable, so you can embarass them later.

11:25 AM  
Blogger joaqim said...

Eggroll, Bagel, Cookie, Vengeance
damn, your title alone deserves a comment

12:30 PM  
Blogger warcrygirl said...

Congrats on your little girl!

4:50 PM  
Blogger FilthyRottenAngel said...

Happy Father's day, and I hear (according to Eddie Izzard) that babies taste of chicken... kudos to you and your wife and TRIPLE kudos to your DR. she deserves a trophy for not freaking out.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Nori said...

This is Nori, who is a Japanese guy. I found this site by chance. Let me say Congradulations to you. See ya!

6:55 PM  
Blogger Annie said...

Congratulations on your new baby.
May you be blessed with many a Advil and diapers (be them clean or otherwise).

7:33 PM  
Blogger Just Me said...

CONGRATULATIONS! :)

11:34 AM  
Anonymous JenniFren said...

What a way to start a life!!

With an entry like that one (and parents like she's got, too!) I can't wait to see what the next 60-80 years will hold for this girl!

Congratulations to you & your ninja household,
Jenni

1:05 PM  
Blogger TwistedNoggin said...

Congrats to you, the mom, and the goo-flinging ninja pirate.

Kudos to the doc for a strong stomach.

Did the goo taste like chicken?

2:09 PM  
Blogger Singing Silent said...

i must say that i am extremely scared and frightened by the lot of you. But hey congrats babies are good. Espicially with a little salt. I do suggest that you get the little fiend some Huggies "Lil Assassin" diapers. They help me out alot and they don't chafe that much :>)

2:10 PM  
Blogger mrsKoalaMan said...

My OB/GYN says don'let this happen to you. If you ever find yourself delivering a baby ummmm. . .wear a mask.

What, no mask? Okay, then keep your mouth closed.

6:17 PM  
Anonymous Nemesis said...

...Ah, memories! Reminds me of when I was in the delivery room with my S.R. watching the doc pull my twin demon-girls from the c-sectional blood pool. Congrats!
...Remember, if the lil' nipper fusses too much, press your thumb firmly in the "reset button" (known by some as the fontanelle or soft spot) and she'll quiet right down...

6:13 PM  

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