Eggroll, Bagel, Cookie, Vengeance

The Four Ninja Food Groups

Monday, July 11, 2005

less flipping out, more killing

So the other day, as climbed back up into the tree after a long day of tripping out in between naps, I was greeted by the sight of two of the lil' joey's sitting quietly on their "time out" branches. "What'd they do this time?" I asked. "They were saying 'HIYYYAAA!' in the tree," my mate said. I was shocked. "So What?" I asked. Are you trying to sissify them by crushing their will to flip out?" "No," she replied, "I just want to teach them good values, you know, raise them right."

Damn. That's just lame. I don't like to cramp mama's style, but this was too much. I didn't want to burn the tree down though, so I figured I'd explain my position; you know... elighten her. "OK," I started, "but think ahead. What's gonna happen when a dog, or a pirate, or some vegetarianian comes up to to devour them? Are they supposed to stay chill just because they're in a tree? Doesn't that sorta undermine the whole 'I'm gonna make you go die and not even care' values we are have been working so hard to instill? Did you think of that?"

Then I got a reminder as to why mama tends the joeys.

"Sorry, dear. I didn't realize you were trying to raise samuri. I just figured that if they were announce their intent to destroy to all creation that they would probably reduce the liklihood that they would convert their detructive energies into a proper slaughter. I see your point though. From now on, I won't try to stress precision. I'll just let them bounce around attacking everything that moves, and figure they'll probably land a strike sooner or later."

What was I thinking? It seems I had lost my balance. Is not caring important? Sure. And do we need to flip out and go nuts sometimes, killing all bystanders without even thinking twice about it? Absolutely! But let's not forget the value of stealth, precision, and focus. Sometimes we conquer with the sword, but other times victory is won with some well placed bunji sticks. Man, I gotta hand it to her. She's one heck of a mom.

13 Comments:

Blogger H said...

does the reinforcement of the value of focus come through the humiliation of time out? is that it's own lesson in itself? everything's a lesson, everyone a teacher.

6:36 AM  
Blogger Kay-D said...

Vegatarains...
Classic shit.

3:47 PM  
Blogger fmragtops said...

Wow, what a mom! It reminds me of the time my mom told me, "If you gotta fight someone bigger than you, grab an equalizer. Like a bat or book." Unfortunately I was not raised with a katana, but those twin Colt model 1911's sure came in handy.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Christopher Trottier said...

Now that is one hilarious post. Thank you for sharing. I laughed my ass off.

9:46 AM  
Blogger shelby. said...

this is beautiful. you should listen to your mate, thats how things work. you should influence the flipping out shit, but still let the younglings know that the kill is the main focus. and flipping out is a great stress reliever!!!

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Jennifren said...

Yeh, ditto on yer mate being quite wise & caring with the children. You should listen to her more. Tell her I sed so.

O & remember, not all pirates want to eat ninja babies!

8:30 PM  
Blogger RhyssFen said...

lol

3:17 AM  
Blogger RhyssFen said...

never seen sumthin' like that in that way...

3:17 AM  
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