Eggroll, Bagel, Cookie, Vengeance

The Four Ninja Food Groups

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

My High School District (Suffolk county) has an Awsome shirt

I didn't see a vagina up-close until I was 18. Today, at 22, I've seen at least seven of them. My name is Jakob Lodwick, and I sell T-shirts.



Saturday, April 16, 2005

This may get a little creepy...Grab a snack!

Sorry I have not posted in so long the past couple weeks have been grueling. I may quit.

I will start a Rock-A-Billy band. We will be called Cletis Membrane. Our lyrical forays will be confined to breakfast foods found around the country and sex with loose women. At the height of our fame will eschew huge venues in favor of playing all occasions, including bar Mitzvas all over.

Songs like:
"I'm Gonna Make That Waffle Behave!",
the sultry teaser- "I Won't Be Able To Identify You Later If You Wear That"
the incomparable "This Omelette May Have Socialist Underpinnings"
and the crowd favorite "Blintz On All Fours"....


...will be timeless classics set to the parodying melodies that both 13 year girls and the Beach Boys will agree is ghastly, but endearing.

I will leave Cletis just before tragedy befalls the band, I will not however make it out unscathed: stricken with irreversible damage to my liver and speech patterns.

I am so glad muffin is here. However I am sorry that I was not able to post sooner and show my gratitude, as well as other things that end in "tude". IE my longitude as well as my girthatude.

When is MotoMike going to post?

Quote of the day:
When asked if he could walk with us (instead of making us stop so he could slowly and painfully articulate a question having to do with 50 cents) He pointed to the tree and delivered a loving gaze to a small tree that was busy shading multiple cans of Slitz Malt Liquor...

"Naw..sorry I cant walk wit-choo; I got obligations,"

Not being able to argue with that, Tom handed over the change.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Sin City, should be more about food, less about vengence

Muffin is SO right. With that much vengeance, torture and feverish disemboweling, I thought that there should be a balance. It could be offset with some sweeping shots of large meals splayed out as the fruits for such difficult work.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

My pants are gonna teach you some important lessons